For women in leadership roles, confidence serves as a vital asset in professional endeavors, personal life, and interpersonal relationships. It plays a crucial role in attracting suitable job opportunities, fostering positive connections, making sound decisions, and reaching objectives.
Every female leader possesses a foundational level of confidence. Some exhibit unwavering confidence grounded in solid foundations, while others may experience fluctuations in their confidence, particularly when confronted with mistakes, criticism, or setbacks.
Confidence is intricately linked to our self-esteem. Self-esteem allows us to perceive ourselves both accurately and positively. It embodies a realistic, appreciative perspective, enabling us to acknowledge our strengths and weaknesses while still feeling good about who we are.
Foundations of Self-Esteem
According to Glenn R. Schiraldi, Ph.D., author of 10 Simple Solutions for Building Self-Esteem, self-esteem is shaped by three core factors: unconditional worth, unconditional love, and growth.
Unconditional Worth
This concept implies that a woman’s value is inherent and not influenced by external accomplishments. This principle can be challenging for women who have been conditioned to equate worth with achievement. Recognizing our intrinsic worth liberates us from the need to judge or compare ourselves to others based on external criteria, allowing us to appreciate our unique contributions to our own well-being and that of others.
Unconditional Love
As highlighted by Abraham Maslow, psychological well-being is unattainable without love for our essential selves. Even if unconditional love was absent in our upbringing, we can learn to extend love to ourselves and others. This love fosters a sense of worth, satisfaction, and growth.
Growth
Women often experience increased self-esteem when engaged in constructive activities, learning, decision-making, and personal development. While growth does not alter our inherent worth, it enhances our ability to appreciate it. In essence, self-esteem manifests as the satisfaction derived from acknowledging and valuing our intrinsic worth, motivating us to love and evolve. It is independent of comparison and competition, and we can enrich our self-esteem through learning, achievements, and the pursuit of our goals.
Overcoming Negativity
Undoubtedly, our self-critical tendencies can undermine our confidence more than external judgments, failures, or mistakes. Excessive negative self-talk can lead women to react defensively, even in neutral situations.
Many negative thought patterns are learned behaviors that can be unlearned. It is essential to move beyond blaming external influences, such as parents or educators, for our negative reactions. Regardless of past experiences, we can consciously choose to detach from harmful automatic thoughts.
By substituting negative thoughts with positive affirmations, we enhance our effectiveness, happiness, and self-confidence. Ultimately, we hold the responsibility for our chosen thoughts. While many life circumstances are beyond our control, we can manage our mindset.
Confidence diminishes when we engage in negative self-talk or project negativity onto others. No one is immune to these intrusive thought patterns. The key lies in self-awareness; recognizing these automatic distortions allows us to reframe and revise our thoughts.
For example, instead of thinking, “I can’t possibly finish this on time. I’m too slow in the mornings,” we can reframe it to, “I prefer not to rush, especially this early. I’m uncertain about completing it, but I can certainly begin. Perhaps my mind will become clearer as I dive in.”
By acknowledging reality and avoiding catastrophizing, we commit to taking achievable steps forward. Focusing on what we can control rather than what’s lacking gives us the opportunity to succeed and learn from each experience.
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